


What Makes a Monster

by Kou (Rietto)



Series: AkaYona AU : Zeno caring Shin-Ah [3]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Gen, blind trust, half truth isn't a lie, these two's relationship is a bit problematic ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 17:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8065732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rietto/pseuds/Kou
Summary: In which Zeno still can't say the whole truth.In truth, Shin-Ah already has an inkling as to what Zeno's power is.Also, about his monstrosity.





	

* * *

Zeno winced and unconsciously clicked his tongue when his hand got cut by the blade he was using to cut the herbs, resulting in a gash across his palm. Blood oozed out, and out of habit Zeno licked the wound. Shin-Ah stopped what he was doing, preparing the vegetables, and ran to Zeno when he noticed the droplets falling to the ground.

Even with his mask, his concern was clearly visible.

“A… ah… blood… alright? Hurt?” 

It’s just been over a week since they left Seiryuu Village, and despite everything that Zeno had told him, Shin-Ah still hadn’t connect the dots. Even though Zeno had told him that he wouldn’t die, Shin-Ah still hadn’t realized that Zeno was an unchanging immortal.

Well, not that he could be blamed. It was a bit hard to imagine concept.

Add to the fact that Shin-Ah seemed to have decided that Zeno’s past and reasoning and goals were of no importance to him, Zeno supposed it’s natural that he hadn’t thought of it. It’s even debatable if he’s thinking at all.

And also, Zeno still couldn’t bring himself to always refer to his friends by name. To Shin-Ah, Zeno’s been telling him about groups of different people, Zeno’s past companions, legendary dragons from thousands years ago, and dragons of current era.

Really, it’s Zeno’s fault he hadn’t realized.

“Zeno’s fine. It’s just a bit surprising, that’s all. This much will heal in no time!”

Shin-Ah didn’t seem convinced.

His tiny hands went to grip Zeno’s clothes and the immortal dragon could feel his jaw dropping in surprise.

“Uhm, Shin-Ah, Zeno’s pretty sure I’ve told you this but, I’m sturdy, you know? Ouryuu heal fast, and not even your power can affect me. This is nothing.”

Shin-Ah nodded, but instead his hands only started trembling.

“… still… affected… pain… hurt… worried… sap can get in… from the cut… poisonous…”

Aaah, so it’s about that.

Zeno would realize later that he should be thinking something to sort out the misunderstanding, to tell Shin-Ah that in truth he’d gotten used to pain that if he’d expected it his expression wouldn’t change even if he’s being decapitated, but what went in his mind was only pride and joy because Shin-Ah remembered what he’d taught him and he’s very observant and he’s so very cute and warm and kind…

“Is it… painful? Will… the poison affects Zeno?”

He was already raising his uncut hand to ruffle Shin-Ah’s hair when he realized it. What an adorably good child. 

“A bit. It’ll pass though. The poison too. Poison can’t get me too, I think.”

“…! Aah… how… how long? Until healed, how long?”

“Hm… how long, Zeno wonders? Zeno doesn’t get poisoned often, so I’m not sure. But you see, it’s only poisonous in large dose. I’ll be affected a bit, but not even you will die from this much.”

“Still… Will it be longer than my power?”

Zeno wondered how he should answer this.

Shin-Ah feared his power, so if Zeno praised his strength, it wouldn’t be flattering. At the same time, he didn’t want to ridicule it or make him worry because he’s sure that the only reason the cut hadn’t healed was because they’re tethering the edge of Kouka.

“… Zeno…?”

And because he hadn’t answered immediately, Shin-Ah only got even more worried. 

Really, he needed to find a way to explain his monstrous nature better, in a way which wouldn’t make himself break down and scare Shin-Ah, because honestly? Zeno didn’t like to talk about it much.

If to other people Zeno could feel confident in his poker face, he didn’t think he’d be able to fool Shin-Ah. He’s observant enough as he was, not counting his dragon eyes.

Well, in the mean time though…

“Zeno will let you see for yourself then,” he said as he leaned back a bit, placing his still unhealed hand palm up on top of his lap. Shin-Ah peered, and tentatively touched it.

His touch was so gentle, Zeno could barely feel it. For some reason though, he could feel Shin-Ah flinching before pulling it again, as if it was him who was pained.

“… can I… hold it…?”

He asked shyly with eyes downcast, and Zeno honestly couldn’t understand why he had to ask. 

Zeno bit back the respond he almost let out. Telling Shin-Ah that he wouldn’t mind cutting it off for him simply would not do.

“Please do. While you’re at it, please sit in my lap and let Zeno hold you. Can I hold you?”

On their first days together, Shin-Ah clearly told him he didn’t like being hold. Sure, it’s because Zeno was too euphoric to hold back from suffocating him, and Shin-Ah just meant that he’d like to walk instead of being carried all the time, but Zeno thought putting the question this way would make it clearer for Shin-Ah that he liked coming into contact with him in general.

_‘What, only that? Give me more, please!’_

Zeno hoped it’s conveyed.

Shin-Ah looked up to him, and seemingly swallowed before nodding and moved to sit on Zeno’s lap, leaning to his chest. Zeno raised his still cut hand (it’s started tingling, so Zeno expected it to stitch itself back soon) and Shin-Ah held it as gently as he could.

Aaand… Zeno felt self-conscious. Shin-Ah was looking so intently after all. Behind his mask, he was surely narrowing his eyes and determined to record the healing process to his mind.

What would he think about it?

Everyone who saw him heal… they all thought of him as monsters. Apparently it’s one thing to see people with strange fighting abilities, it’s another to see someone who couldn’t be brought down. It’s not like Zeno didn’t understand.

But it’s Shin-Ah.

He’s not enemy Zeno had to fight. He’s someone Zeno had decided to take care from now on.

It’s one thing to be feared by enemies, it’s another if it’s by his precious people.

“Ouryuu… heals fast… That’s my power. I’m an odd one out of the four dragons. I won’t die from anything. But, right now, we’re close to the border. My healing rate is getting slower, and Shin-Ah’s getting easier to get sick.”

Anything, including old age.

But Shin-Ah didn’t seem to understand that. Didn’t seem to even consider that.

Zeno realized, he should have said he’s eternal. Say it clearly, he’s the original Ouryuu. He had no predecessor, and he was sure he wouldn’t have a successor. For some reason though, he couldn’t.

Shin-Ah let out a gasp when the wound stitched itself back together before his very eyes, and it took everything Zeno had to not pull away from him.

“Not even scar… Zeno, amazing…”

Shin-Ah sounded mesmerized and not at all repulsed as he traced Zeno’s palm print with his fingers, and it was so relieving that Zeno couldn’t hold back his sigh. He hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath.

“Not really. Shin-Ah is more amazing,” Zeno said as he gripped his hand, holding Shin-Ah’s in his.

Really.

To be so accepting and kind and warm, Shin-Ah was amazing.

Shin-Ah looked up at him and Zeno got the impression he was confused. He smiled at him and Shin-Ah looked down again, seemingly due to embarrassment this time. His ears were red.

“Shin-Ah, you’re really cute~!”

“I’m not…”

In the empty clearing, Zeno’s laughter echoed.

* * *

Sometimes Zeno wondered.

Shin-Ah didn’t know, and didn’t mind not knowing about Zeno at all. Even so, what would happen when he found out? Even though Zeno was determined to tell him everything, he dreaded that moment too.

_‘Shin-Ah, did you know? I’ve ignored lots of people until now, you included and it’s only by chance that I couldn’t ignore you the second time.  You know, I am a monster that can only curse the world. People’s pain and everything, I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore.’_

_‘Why you have to feel cursed, it’s partly my fault.’_

_‘But, you… you accepted me almost immediately, and you changed me, and saved me… You’re amazing. But still, not wanting to know anything about someone who has practically kidnapped you is not good, so I’ll tell you more.’_

_‘Sorry though, I still can’t tell you the whole truth, so maybe it’ll be a while until you get to realize what a monster I am.’_

_‘When that time comes, I hope you’ll forgive me.’_

As always, Zeno whispered those words to sleeping Shin-Ah before closing his eyes himself and drifted to his thousand lifetime long dream.

Like Shin-Ah, he couldn’t tell sometimes.

Which was real? The him spending happy time with Shin-Ah, or was it the him still suffering alone in his dream?

He couldn’t tell.

As always, to the gods he hated, he prayed for the dream to last longer.


End file.
